Q&A How Can I Stop the Intrusive Thoughts?

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Question: 

We are 8 months past D-Day and I still think about the affair and the affair partner almost constantly. Even if I'm doing other things, it's still in the back of my mind. At most I can go maybe 20 minutes without thinking about it. I had a very depressing thought yesterday. What if, even if I want reconciliation and we do all the "right" things, I still spend the rest of my life thinking about his affair and AP at least once a day? I mean, she lives here, works here, all their meetups were around here. And he is the biggest trigger of all. I can't look at him without the affair being the first thing I think about. It seems so impossible to NOT think about it. When, if ever, can I expect to go a whole day without even thinking about it? I want my life back.

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