Q&A How Can We Set Boundaries with Friends That Aided the Affair?

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Question: 

We are in the process of EMSO and have run into a log jam. My wife has a close friend who’s not married has no children and lives a high lifestyle ie is a very heavy drinker. This friend was privy to my wife’s affair and she aided and abetted it. She provided her house for my wife and her AP to use and she didn’t condemn my wife but sat back and watched an absolute bomb go off which has ripped our family apart and has hurt our children so much. I’m trying to get my wife to distance herself from this friend who’s she’s been close to for 33 years but she’s become very defensive and I’m experiencing hurt heaped on top of more hurt. My wife is totally signed up to EMSO and doing brilliantly and saying how sorry she is for all the hurt she’s caused but I’m stuck over this issue of the friend who I have enormous enmity towards. I feel this could split us up as I can’t see myself accepting her friend in our life.

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