Why Does the Unfaithful Spouse Blame Their Betrayed Spouse for Their Affair & Then Retreat in Shame? Have you ever had your unfaithful spouse blame you for their infidelity or addiction? Perhaps they've rattled off statements like "if you would have done your job, I wouldn't have had to go find love elsewhere?" Or, "if you didn't neglect me, I wouldn't have had to go somewhere else for attention, love, and sex." It's a coping mechanism the unfaithful uses to justify their actions, and one of the main problems with this thinking is that we, the unfaithful, think it's absolute truth. What's more truthful is the fact that we don't realize how unresolved childhood trauma affects the way we see our spouse, our infidelity and our recovery efforts. If we do not heal what so deeply traumatized us as a child, we'll miss out on a quality of life and recovery that, while it may seem elusive, is more joyful and rewarding than we can imagine. Join me today for a discussion on what may be a missing link to repairing the devastation of infidelity. As we heal, we can become safe for others around us to heal. Repair work is hard, but it is worth it. We are worth it.