How we repattern our lives after infidelity can make or break the relationship, in both the short and the long term. Without a plan to develop new habits, new patterns and new routines, the relationship can feel stuck, overwhelmed with drudgery, and filled with disappointment. The goal after an affair or addiction is never getting back to what the couple had, but discovering something new - new energy and new patterns that the relationship is going to need to survive and yes, even flourish, moving forward. It’s never easy and it’s never a quick fix, but repatterning our own lives and the relationship will provide much-needed space for both parties to heal, while finding new momentum and new understanding for each other’s journey in recovery. While not every marriage survives the pain of infidelity, we must be willing to repattern our own lives for future relationships, long-term self respect, and much-needed self-love.