How to Move from Transmitting to Transforming Your Pain after an Affair

One of my favorite authors, Richard Rhor, states over and over again in his writings that we can choose to 'transmit our pain... or transform our pain.' I've seen me at my worst, and I can be an expert at transmitting my pain to friends, family, innocent bystanders, umpires, you name it. I've also experienced the rich and lasting feeling when I have been able to see my own inner pain transformed into a vessel to help others heal. When we rage at others, and when we lash out at our significant others or family members, we're transmitting our pain. When we refuse to take ownership of our own inner trauma and project it onto others, we're transmitting our pain. Alternatively, when we can take our pain and learn from it, absorb it, and use it for good in our own lives first, we are transforming our pain. I hope today's video helps you in your own journey of healing and personal transformation.

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Thank you for nailing down these points

This video, like so many of those on this site, really put into words what I needed to know. I agree that we should be intentional, and also to be on the lookout for transactional behaviors. Thank you so much to Sam and all the others who blog and make videos to share advice from their own journeys. You will never know just how much you have changed my life.

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