Q&A How Do I, as the Betrayed, Learn to Love My Mate Again?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


This may seem like a strange question, but after trust is broken through the acts of infidelity, it has been hard for me to feel love for him like I used to. We've been married 30 years and as I'm sure you've heard hundreds of times, I never thought that he could do this to me and to our marriage. He said he took the risk because he never thought I'd find out, otherwise it is unimaginable that he would risk losing everything we had built over the last 30 years. He's doing back flips trying to reconcile and recover, but I'm just afraid it's gone for me. It's been 14 months since D-day. We've attended EMS weekend, I've done Harboring Hope, we are in Married for Life, and we are going to marriage counseling. I don't know what "love" looked like to him, but breaking your marriage vows doesn't seem like love to me. Even though he is trying to become the man I always thought he was, I just can't get past seeing him through the lens of adultery. Who is this man I thought I married?



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas