Q&A How Do I Discern What Is True in All of This?

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Question: 

My husband told is affair partner that he was only with me for the kids, that he was leaving me and even insulted my sexual abilities to build her up. He says none of it was true nor was he talking about me. He says he was using me as a scapegoat and talking about "a fake person" because it wasn't real. He says that is just what you do when having a affair. He never told her that this stuff wasn't true and I hate the fact that she probably thinks all this stuff is true and what they had was real. The thing is that I suspect what he told her had truth in it but I can't get him to talk to me. I am struggling with thinking he ever loved me at all and in sex. Obviously based off what he told his AP I wasn't good enough and can't make him ejaculate even though I sure never stopped trying so why should I try for him now?

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