We are 8 months out from the initial D-Day. The actual extent of the affair came 6 weeks later when I found information confirming it was sexual. My husband had promised it was just texting before that. We have just gone past the 1 year anniversary of the beginning of his contact with the affair partner which has been triggering for me. How do I get past the uncontrollable fear of this happening again or that it is still happening? He has provided unlimited access to his phone and installed tracking apps. He is doing a fantastic job in reassurance, although we do take many steps back in the feeling of safety when we both flood and he shuts down and becomes defensive. I desperately want to move forward and have forgiven but I cant seem to get rid of this ongoing suspicion and fear.