I have betrayed my husband with multiple affairs and other forms of acting out. I have been transparent and he knows all the information. But now, a year later, I still struggle with addictive thought patterns and urges. I feel like I’m being secretive when I dont tell him everything I’m struggling with but at the same time I am so tired of hurting him. I have started a 12-step program and am looking for a sponsor to help me with accountability. "Betrayal is the keeping of secrets" and I am worried that out of a desire for discretion I am continuing to stay stuck in the double life. We have both talked about this and he is asking the same question.