I'm an unfaithful wife who struggles with shame and holding space for my husband to emote and finding the curiosity needed to help my husband heal. I start feeling attacked and end up lashing out with hurtful dehumanizing comments that I truly do not mean but once they are said, they can't be unsaid. My past actions over 38 years, pale in comparison to the damage I've inflicted on my husband since D-Day, January 2023, this is the repair I need help with. How do I talk about my stupidity in a redemptive way, while I'm still struggling through my heart change?