Q&A I'm Doing All I Can to Remain Safe, Grounded, & Healthy - Why Am I Being Blamed for Their Insecurity?

My husband and I are 2 years post DDay of his many affairs and inappropriate texting messaging women on various sites. I have betrayed him 3 times-emotional affairs. I have gotten a lot of therapy over the past 2 years. He completed Hope for Healing, I completed Harboring Hope, and we attended EMS Weekend. I have learned a lot about my own issues. I have done talk therapy, IFS and EMDR. I am healthier than I have ever been. Outside AR groups, he has never gotten therapy. Has promised it many times and always has an excuse why he can't. He has continued to message women on different sites, even reaching out to several to meet in person. He says he does this when he feels insecure because I made him feel that way. I can't keep living in this kind of anxiety. I also can't be his only tether to being safe. Regardless of what my husband does I am doing all I can to remain safe, grounded and healthy. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do any longer.