Q&A Should We Throw in the Towel before Things Get Worse?

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Question: 

Hello Rick, 
I am the betrayed spouse and a father of two young children. I agreed to stay and work on our marriage after I caught her in her 4th affair. I went through Harboring Hope and she went through Hope 4 Healing. Through it all I was lied too and manipulated. I gave it a year then filed for divorce. Even through the divorce I took the advice of affair recovery and kept working at it. More lies and more manipulation. My question is, "Should we throw in the towel before we are traumatized and suffer more abuse?" And can you tell me the positives of moving on for the betrayed and their children? I've already heard all the bad and want to focus on the positives of choosing this path for me and my children. I'm sure not all marriages should be reconciled with someone that is not safe. Keeping hope alive blinded me to get more abused and traumatized. Thank you!

 

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I hate that! As a betrayed

I hate that! As a betrayed spouse, who wants my marriage, if my UH decides he doesn’t want the marriage, I have to continue covering his shame? I have to bear not being wanted by him, and make it sound to my children as if it was a mutual decision!?! We didn’t mutually decide for him to cheat, we didn’t mutually decide for him to not do the work... This may be the best answer... but it is NOT ok.

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