Q&A Why Would the Wayward Spouse Compare Their Pain with My Pain?

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Question: 

My husband wouldn’t tell me his story until yesterday. He has been unfaithful off and on for the past five years. He says he tried to end the affair on 15 different occasions. He caught the affair partner cheating on him last summer but still went back to her. Recently, he found her cheating on him again. He said he needs closure with affair partner so he can be determined and move on. He said he understands my pain because he was betrayed twice by the affair partner. I am shattered to pieces. The worse thing is I didn’t even notice until two years ago. Have you heard anything like this? What kind of love or betrayal is that? How can he compare my pain with his pain? The worse thing is I am willing to do my part to make our marriage work, and he is not even sure what he wants. Do I still have hope in this kind of marriage?

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