Q&A Will I Ever Be Able to See the Time during the Affair as Something Other Than Tainted or Fake?

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I am 15 months from disclosure, but 12 years after my husband's year long affair. He denied it for more than a decade despite my suspicions. I think I have all the information and we are much closer and connected than we have ever been. He is fully remorseful and has great empathy and understanding of the impact as well as the factors that led him to have the affair. We attended EMS Weekend and I completed Harboring Hope. My question is whether I can reasonably expect to ever be able to look back at the year he was betraying me and see our memories together as anything but tainted or fake? Vacations, holidays, our children’s milestones, etc, all seem hollow to me. He states he loved me during his affair and these events were special to him. I have a hard time believing that. I used to cherish our family photos and home movies but I can't even look at them from this period of time, including the only professional family photo we ever had taken, that was on display for years until I learned the truth. Seeing it now makes me feel like such a sucker. Will this get better?



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Memories are definitely something I struggle with. I’m 1 year out from D Day uncovering a 4-5 year affair. It’s getting easier but I’ve had to take away some anniversary pics I had around my house. As you say, they seem tainted now even though he says he always loved me and would never have left me for her. Like you, i am hoping it gets better with TIME. I can’t wait for that day.

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