Today, I want to talk to you about a major turning point that happens in all of our lives. This turning point is going to challenge some of you, and it's OK to be challenged in your affair recovery timeline. This turning point is the day when we hold ourselves accountable for our own healing. When I made the shift and began to hold myself accountable for my own recovery, it changed my life, it changed my healing and it changed my heart. At the core of personal recovery work, regardless of what you're going through, is self-responsibility....
Have you ever been so frustrated because you couldn't get your mate to think, feel or act how you wanted them to? Have you ever hit that point in affair recovery where you so desperately wanted to get your loved one to do something, see something, and you just couldn't?
While recovering after an affair, we can become such control freaks when we try to get someone to experience something as we would. In these moments, our frustration can be off the charts.
In unfaithful spouse recovery, it can look like this: Why won't they...
In life and in infidelity recovery, there are seasons. Whether you're recovering from infidelity pain as an individual or as a couple, some of these seasons are going to be incredibly challenging. I'm sorry to tell you, there's no way around them. But there is some good news: Seasons don't last forever. And while you will experience days of agony, you'll also experience good days; days where you may take some deeper breaths and say: "It feels good to hope. We had a great day."
Like with weather seasons, we have to make adjustments and embrace the recovery season we're...
Happiness only comes when you open the door to pain. You simply can't have one without the other. As a betrayed spouse, I know this all too well.
I've learned to live with what happened to me. It's become a part of my history, something profound that I went through. This brokenness has become a part of me, one that's interwoven with the fabric of my life story. This revelation is what I think they call "acceptance."
It hasn't come without truckloads of pain: messy, dark,...
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Important; of consequence....
Most of us who have experienced betrayal have, at least for a season, anger as our front seat driver.
But who is riding in the back seat fueling that angry driver? Fear? Frustration? Betrayal, Sadness? Loneliness?
Once I uncovered loneliness and injustice as two of my backseat driver emotions, I've discovered that loneliness and injustice was part of my childhood when I struggled to be the 'good child' as my parents were trying their best to handle a difficult son, my only sibling.
More damaging than that was my mother's very natural tendency to worry about...
Samuel interviews author and therapist Eddie Capparucci about sex addiction.
Samuel discusses a necessary tool for those stuck in crisis.
Samuel his friends Hank and Aixa as they share their own story of healing from infidelity.
Samuel discusses suffering, belief systems, and how both partners can heal after disclosure.
Samuel interviews his special guest Lisa Arends to discuss betrayal, divorce, and how to move forward after marital devastation.
Samuel shares a critical mistake unfaithful spouses make which altogether endanger the marriage.
Samuel discusses why a marriage affected by infidelity or addiction can still be fulfilling and rewarding.
My friend recently had a terrible burn accident while frying bacon. A stumble and the hot grease splashed across the palm and side of her hand. As an EMT, she knew she must douse the injury in cold water and clean it. And not just clean but rid the area of the skin that was peeled away. The pain was exquisite. A trip to emergency room quickly followed.
"Give me two minutes," the ER doctor pleaded. "You did a good job and the right thing in cleaning your burn, but I have to get the rest of the dead skin and debris so it won't get infected."
My friend...
Samuel discusses long term vision for couples trying to heal from infidelity and addiction.
Samuel shares insight into a challenging part of the disclosure process.
Samuel discusses why many mistakes are made in the attempt to heal from infidelity or addiction.
Samuel interviews best selling author Thomas Gagliano and discusses self sabotage, infidelity and addiction.
Samuel tackles a tough but needed conversation about when to actually get help after infidelity.
Samuel discusses how to build bridges with both unfaithful and betrayed spouses.
"You have to trust the process."
I've heard this mantra of sorts from many research-based and well-respected betrayal recovery sources. It is the very backbone and lifeblood of expert help such as what is offered through Affair Recovery's Programs and Courses. It is so hard to do when your heart is shattered into a million fragmented pieces, and all you want, all you need, is to escape the horrendous pain. A pain like no other.
There are many necessary elements of successful recovery. Just as there are many...
Samuel discusses one of the worst mistakes he made in his own recovery early on.
Samuel interviews a betrayed male spouse who shares his journey of overcoming denial and comparison.
Samuel provides help for those who feel as though their betrayed spouse is testing them.
Samuel answers a question many betrayed spouse have asked themselves regarding the future of their relationship after infidelity is discovered.
Samuel shares insight into one of the biggest mistakes made when helping betrayed spouses.
When couples face ambivalence in either spouse it can seem like the end, when in fact, it can be positive for the relationship.
Samuel shares long term insight and hope for couples and individuals trying to heal.
I recently made this family favorite. The first two batches came out perfectly. On the third and final batch, the kitchen timer did not go off. I use this timer for all sorts of cooking and baking projects. It is the type where you rotate the dial past the time you want and turn back to the exact number of minutes desired. It ticks like a time bomb and rings as a school...
Samuel provides necessary support for couples who are trying to heal from infidelity.