Join Us at the Virtual Hope Rising Conference on October 2!
Tickets are now available for our 4th annual Hope Rising Conference for betrayed spouses. Space is limited. Learn more and purchase tickets using the button below.
I think anybody who's gone through infidelity comes to the point where they ask themselves:
"Is there ever a time when there's too much damage to try and recover from...
Not too long ago, someone pulled me aside and asked, “Seriously, how long is it going to be like this?” At our EMS Weekends in person, the conversations inevitably take a turn to these sorts of questions. Often, participants want to know:
I’ve said this before and I’ll continue to say it: We didn’t get here overnight, and we got to this place because of one...
Registration for EMS Online Opens Soon!
Spots fill up quickly, so you won't want to wait to register for our Emergency Marital Seminar Online. Better known as EMSO, this 13-week course has helped thousands of couples rebuild their relationships and restore their lives after infidelity.
The other day, I had someone reach out to me and say, "Sam, what are we to do now? How do we not, I hate to say it, end up like...
Over the last decade in a half or so, I’ve been doing my own work and had the privilege of watching other people do their work as they heal from infidelity or addiction. During that time, I’ve come to the realization that, in many ways, our healing, our future and our personal restoration require the ownership of two things: our choices and our outcomes.
If I can’t own the choices that I’ve made, particularly as an unfaithful spouse, I’m not safe and I make myself a victim. If we can own our choices, we can...
Part 1: How Couples Can Promote Good Mental Health During and After the Pandemic Part 2: Mental Health and Parenting: How to Support Yourself and Your Kids
Last week, I kick-started the conversation on a really important topic for couples and individuals, both during the COVID-...
Today, I want to talk to you about a major turning point that happens in all of our lives. This turning point is going to challenge some of you, and it's OK to be challenged in your affair recovery timeline. This turning point is the day when we hold ourselves accountable for our own healing. When I made the shift and began to hold myself accountable for my own recovery, it changed my life, it changed my healing and it changed my heart. At the core of personal recovery work, regardless of what you're going through, is self-responsibility....
Have you ever been so frustrated because you couldn't get your mate to think, feel or act how you wanted them to? Have you ever hit that point in affair recovery where you so desperately wanted to get your loved one to do something, see something, and you just couldn't?
While recovering after an affair, we can become such control freaks when we try to get someone to experience something as we would. In these moments, our frustration can be off the charts.
In unfaithful spouse recovery, it can look like this: Why won't they...
Today, I’m thrilled to announce registration is NOW OPEN for our 4th annual Hope Rising Conference for Betrayed Spouses. I know this past year was an especially hard one for couples, particularly those healing from infidelity. If you're the betrayed spouse, I invite you to do something restorative for yourself by joining our one-day virtual event. If you’re the wayward spouse, consider giving the gift of Hope Rising to your mate. At this conference, they’ll gain invaluable guidance, information and inspiration as they continue their...
In life and in infidelity recovery, there are seasons. Whether you're recovering from infidelity pain as an individual or as a couple, some of these seasons are going to be incredibly challenging. I'm sorry to tell you, there's no way around them. But there is some good news: Seasons don't last forever. And while you will experience days of agony, you'll also experience good days; days where you may take some deeper breaths and say: "It feels good to hope. We had a great day."
Like with weather seasons, we have to make adjustments and embrace the recovery season we're...
In Week 11 of EMS Online, our couples must face a difficult truth: Relapse is a common part of infidelity recovery. But just because it's common doesn't mean couples have to sit back and accept relapse, and all of its pain and difficulty, as an inevitability.
After a betrayal, I encourage both mates to identify high-risk situations and come up with a plan — together — for how they'll tackle them. And, it probably comes as no surprise, traveling is one of the most high-risk situations for wayward mates in recovery. That's why I recommend wayward mates, whenever they'...
At Affair Recovery, it’s our mission to restore those in crisis to extraordinary lives of meaning and purpose. One of the ways we’ve been doing that for decades is through our research-based courses and programs, which include EMS Weekend, EMS Online, Hope for Healing and Harboring Hope. Nevertheless, we deeply understand that like how no two people are the same, no two infidelity situations are the same. That’s why, in addition to regularly updating and elevating our courses and programs, we make time to answer your unique questions.
Through the Expert Q...
Happiness only comes when you open the door to pain. You simply can't have one without the other. As a betrayed spouse, I know this all too well.
I've learned to live with what happened to me. It's become a part of my history, something profound that I went through. This brokenness has become a part of me, one that's interwoven with the fabric of my life story. This revelation is what I think they call "acceptance."
It hasn't come without truckloads of pain: messy, dark,...
Cover more ground faster with the life-changing experience of EMS Weekend for couples.
Click here to see Rick and Wayne's videos at the bottom as they share more about this virtual experience.
This is not your average light and fluffy program that only scratches the surface. Up front, it's important to know that we won't shame the unfaithful spouse nor blame the betrayed spouse. This 3 day intensive is a safe place for both of you to heal. Now...
Do you know the signs of a social media affair (a.k.a. online affair)?
This article was released originally on August 26, 2015 shortly after recent developments surrounding the Ashley Madison Breach. I felt it timely to reacquaint us all on social media affairs and signs of them.
The fact that 81% of the nation's top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, creates more than enough concern that we're heading in the wrong direction. A 2010 survey of the American Academy of...
Harboring Hope registration opens monthly. Subscribe to be notified. Harboring Hope is our online course for betrayed spouses to heal after infidelity. It often sells out within a few short hours. Don't miss it!
significant
adjective
Important; of consequence....
Most of us who have experienced betrayal have, at least for a season, anger as our front seat driver.
But who is riding in the back seat fueling that angry driver? Fear? Frustration? Betrayal, Sadness? Loneliness?
Once I uncovered loneliness and injustice as two of my backseat driver emotions, I've discovered that loneliness and injustice was part of my childhood when I struggled to be the 'good child' as my parents were trying their best to handle a difficult son, my only sibling.
More damaging than that was my mother's very natural tendency to worry about...
Part 1: Difficulties with Intimacy Part 2: Difficulties with Intimacy for the Betrayed Part 3: Difficulties with Intimacy for the Unfaithful
For the couple who is trying to heal from infidelity, the marriage bed can seem like an untouchable desert full of confusion, despair, and uncertainty. The unfaithful spouse can find him or herself guilt-ridden, almost paralyzed...
For couples devastated by infidelity, the marriage bed can seem like an untouchable subject, if not absolutely taboo. From comparisons to the affair partner to triggers and reminders or unhelpful and incompetent advice, it can seem...
If you're the betrayed spouse, I want to invite you to our 3rd Annual Hope Rising Conference, (now Virtual!) where speakers will speak into your specific situation of infidelity and help guide you through the recovery process. It's not as hopeless as you think.
Sign Up Now!...
Part 1: What Do You Need to Know? Part 2: Poor Recovery Decisions of Unfaithful Spouses
Hope for Healing registration opens monthly. Subscribe to be notified. This online course for unfaithful spouses fills...
Samuel interviews author and therapist Eddie Capparucci about sex addiction.
Samuel discusses a necessary tool for those stuck in crisis.
Samuel his friends Hank and Aixa as they share their own story of healing from infidelity.
Samuel discusses suffering, belief systems, and how both partners can heal after disclosure.
Have you ever suffered an injury and ignored it? It's embarrassing to admit, but years ago I damaged the soft tissue in my shoulder, and instead of seeking help, I coped, adjusted, and went on with life. I mistakenly believed that if I carefully protected my shoulder, it would heal on its own. Ultimately, I had to accept that my plan didn't work; by the time I sought help, I needed to have surgery.
The old saying "time heals all wounds" isn't necessarily true for shoulder injuries, and it isn’t true for healing after an affair. It's not time that...
Samuel interviews his special guest Lisa Arends to discuss betrayal, divorce, and how to move forward after marital devastation.
Samuel shares a critical mistake unfaithful spouses make which altogether endanger the marriage.
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