Hi. My name is Karen Baker, and I'm the graduate counseling intern for Crossroad Counseling Associates, being supervised by Rick Reynolds. Experiencing infertility is an incredibly jarring experience, and that's why we call it betrayal trauma. In a previous video, I discussed why and how we become dysregulated, as well as the importance of emotional regulation.
In this video, I'm going to lead you through a short guided meditation.
You can follow along now or bookmark this video to listen to it later.
So take a moment to pause this video if you need to, and adjust your space and find a comfortable position for you to relax.
And now I invite you to find a...
In this episode Rodney and Angela share the profound change they experienced following his D-Day on March 8th, 2014. Amidst the death of the old, a new marriage and new hearts emerged. They share how they navigated this journey with gratitude and grace. Through transparency and healing, they discovered the power of God's promise to restore and uplift.
Scripture became more than words on a page; it became their anchor, guiding and reminding them to fix their eyes on Jesus. Just as Peter was able to walk on water when he focused on Jesus, they held to that and became “Water Walkers”.
They encourage others facing their own versions of "D-Day" to turn to Christ for endurance and...
We define infidelity as the keeping of secrets; it's a breach of trust that can lead to the collapse of even the strongest relationships. Infidelity is a complex issue with many underlying causes, and it creates a cascade of inter- and intra-relational turmoil. The most common and difficult elements for the betrayed spouse to work through are any kind of lie and deception that the wayward partners tell themselves and their partner about their behavior.
In the context of romantic partnerships, infidelity is a tortuous and baffling problem to deal with. The act itself is generally seen as unethical and destructive, but the reasons and self-deceptions that led to it remain a convoluted mystery that take time and hard work to unravel. We need to look further into the psycho-emotional...
Hello, Kristin S. here. If you're watching this video, it means that you've experienced infidelity in some way in your life. You've either discovered that your partner has cheated on you, or maybe you have been unfaithful to your partner.
No matter which side of this equation that you're on, it's likely that you can appreciate how entirely lonely this time in your life is. You're caught in quite the pickle. Talking about the affair to other people potentially leaves you open for misunderstanding, judgment, criticism, unwanted opinions, and gossip. Keeping the affair to yourself represents its own challenge, leaving you in the horrendous cycle of ruminating thoughts.
Let me tell you how I...
“If I get pregnant, I’ll just have an abortion.” When asked if she was safe
Threatening to have me arrested for child abuse
Using kids’ social media accounts to contact and stalk men
Sleeping with a man she met two hours earlier on Facebook….. unprotected
Setting up dating apps while in the parking lot waiting for our therapy appointment
Wearing different clothes and hairstyles
Sneaking off to the bathroom to text APs while at Disneyland with the family
These and many others are examples of my wife’s behavior while still in her multiple affairs. It made me physically sick. I could not wrap my head around how my sweet, innocent, God-fearing wife had become the monster in front of me. I wanted to lash out at her. I wanted her to hurt as much as I was hurting. In fact, I wanted to see her in a...
This week's video is addressed to wayward men, but the abuse associated with infidelity isn't gender or role specific. Infidelity can elicit both physical abuse and emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is when one person tries to make another person responsible for their emotional regulation or well-being in a manner that is detrimental to the other. Or when a person treats or exposes another person to behaviors that may result in psychological trauma. The attachment rupture created by betrayal destroys any sense of psychological safety. Whether you are the wayward spouse or the betrayed spouse, the tendency is to move into self-protect mode rather than relational mode. As mentioned in the video, abusive behaviors can be intentional or unintentional, but the damage done is the same...
Hello. This is Kristin. As an unfaithful spouse, one may argue that the shame I experienced post affair was expected, while unhelpful to my healing. One would expect that I would be feeling shame, guilt after what happened. I had betrayed the trust of my spouse, of my family, my friends, and maybe most importantly, myself. This type of shame is pretty standard.
However, there are two sides to the shame coin equally damaging, but one is much less understood. The shame a betrayed spouse may be feeling is a real and potentially crippling emotion. Thoughts are flying through your head a mile a minute. Why did this happen to me? What is it about me that caused them to cheat...
Steve just filed for divorce from his wife Stacey. The reason listed on the decree was “adultery”. They had been married for 7 years and recently Steve had discovered that Stacey had secretly been seeing an old boyfriend. His life was shattered. The pain was overwhelming. He only wanted to forget and move on with his life.
Of course, no one would fault Steve for his choice. Even the Bible would justify his decision. He was free to go and marry again.
Today I’d like to offer a different perspective on love and respect. During my own experience with betrayal, I had to reconcile the world's view of love and respect versus what God has revealed in His Word. I wanted the pain to go away. I wanted to punish my wife for her actions. I had the power to ruin her life like she ruined mine. The world...
Hi. My name is Karen, and I am the graduate counseling intern at Crossroad Counseling Associates. My work is supervised by Rick Reynolds, and I am in the home stretch of my master's program. I've learned so much this past year and had the opportunity to co-facilitate several Harboring Hope Groups. Today, I am delighted to share some information with you on a topic I am deeply passionate about and teach many of my own clients: Emotional Regulation. Emotional regulation or self-regulation is the ability to observe and respond to a range of emotions in a manner that is tolerable and flexible enough to allow for spontaneous reactions as well as the decision to delay those spontaneous reactions.
I have been teaching people breathing, meditation, and emotional...
Hello. My name is Candace. Let's spend some time talking today about answering questions. Post D-Day. I know some of you just broke out into a cold sweat. In this post, I will address both the unfaithful and the betrayed when it comes to answering questions. I'll be discussing a few key rules to follow to keep things constructive versus leading to greater destruction.
First to the unfaithful. Allow me to set the scene. You've either confessed to your partner or your partner has discovered your infidelity immediately after. Here comes the onslaught of rapid fire questions which appear to have no end in sight. And these questions are starting to create a shame storm. You feel like you're drowning....
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