Have you ever been so frustrated because you couldn't get your mate to think, feel or act how you wanted them to? Have you ever hit that point in affair recovery where you so desperately wanted to get your loved one to do something, see something, and you just couldn't?
While recovering after an affair, we can become such control freaks when we try to get someone to experience something as we would. In these moments, our frustration can be off the charts.
In unfaithful spouse recovery, it can look like this: Why won't they forgive me? Why can't they see that I'm remorseful? Why can't they see how hard I'm working? How can I get them to see what I so desperately want them to see?
In betrayed spouse recovery, it can look like this: Why can't they do their work? Why can't they be remorseful and empathetic? Why won't they re-engage?
If you've...
Today, I’m thrilled to announce registration is NOW OPEN for our 4th annual Hope Rising Conference for Betrayed Spouses. I know this past year was an especially hard one for couples, particularly those healing from infidelity. If you're the betrayed spouse, I invite you to do something restorative for yourself by joining our one-day virtual event. If you’re the wayward spouse, consider giving the gift of Hope Rising to your mate. At this conference, they’ll gain invaluable guidance, information and inspiration as they continue their journey to wholeness.
Our Hope Rising Conference speakers have all experienced infidelity. They’ve all done the work, and they’re all proof that you can survive and thrive after infidelity...
In life and in infidelity recovery, there are seasons. Whether you're recovering from infidelity pain as an individual or as a couple, some of these seasons are going to be incredibly challenging. I'm sorry to tell you, there's no way around them. But there is some good news: Seasons don't last forever. And while you will experience days of agony, you'll also experience good days; days where you may take some deeper breaths and say: "It feels good to hope. We had a great day."
Like with weather seasons, we have to make adjustments and embrace the recovery season we're in. Unlike with weather seasons, we actually have some control over infidelity recovery seasons. We can lengthen or shorten these periods of pain. And if you use these seasons right, they can be absolutely transformational. Today, I'm sharing how to use seasons to your advantage when recovering from infidelity pain.
In Week 11 of EMS Online, our couples must face a difficult truth: Relapse is a common part of infidelity recovery. But just because it's common doesn't mean couples have to sit back and accept relapse, and all of its pain and difficulty, as an inevitability.
After a betrayal, I encourage both mates to identify high-risk situations and come up with a plan — together — for how they'll tackle them. And, it probably comes as no surprise, traveling is one of the most high-risk situations for wayward mates in recovery. That's why I recommend wayward mates, whenever they're going to be away from home for an extended period of time, to create a travel plan.
For the wayward mate, a relapse reveals all their places of pride, weak motivation and unwillingness to do whatever's necessary to recover. But relapse can also be a primary motivator for them to take the steps to...
At Affair Recovery, it’s our mission to restore those in crisis to extraordinary lives of meaning and purpose. One of the ways we’ve been doing that for decades is through our research-based courses and programs, which include EMS Weekend, EMS Online, Hope for Healing and Harboring Hope. Nevertheless, we deeply understand that like how no two people are the same, no two infidelity situations are the same. That’s why, in addition to regularly updating and elevating our courses and programs, we make time to answer your unique questions.
Through the Expert Q...
Happiness only comes when you open the door to pain. You simply can't have one without the other. As a betrayed spouse, I know this all too well.
I've learned to live with what happened to me. It's become a part of my history, something profound that I went through. This brokenness has become a part of me, one that's interwoven with the fabric of my life story. This revelation is what I think they call "acceptance."
It hasn't come without truckloads of pain: messy, dark, catastrophic and heart-shattering pain. I opened the door to this pain because I know, deep down to my toes, it's the only way through the devastation of intimate betrayal.
Acceptance. It's the final stage of grief in the five-part model developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross; however, her co-author and colleague, David Kessler, got permission from...
Cover more ground faster with the life-changing experience of EMS Weekend for couples.
Click here to see Rick and Wayne's videos at the bottom as they share more about this virtual experience.
This is not your average light and fluffy program that only scratches the surface. Up front, it's important to know that we won't shame the unfaithful spouse nor blame the betrayed spouse. This 3 day intensive is a safe place for both of you to heal. Now offering $1,000 discount for virtual months during the pandemic. Limited availability.
Click here to read testimonials of others who have experienced this transformative weekend first hand.
Please note: This article's purpose is not to diagnose the reader or their spouse as having a disorder, and it is not...
Do you know the signs of a social media affair (a.k.a. online affair)?
This article was released originally on August 26, 2015 shortly after recent developments surrounding the Ashley Madison Breach. I felt it timely to reacquaint us all on social media affairs and signs of them.
The fact that 81% of the nation's top divorce attorneys say they have seen an increase in the number of cases using social networking evidence during the past five years, creates more than enough concern that we're heading in the wrong direction. A 2010 survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers reveals the growing magnitude of this problem and its widespread effects.
Consider joining Hope for Healing where you'll find community for isolation and healing for shame —and that's just the beginning.
It...
Harboring Hope registration opens monthly. Subscribe to be notified. Harboring Hope is our online course for betrayed spouses to heal after infidelity. It often sells out within a few short hours. Don't miss it!
Secretly reading your mate's journal or recovery materials won't reveal the truth and will actually delay your recovery from infidelity. However appealing it may be, and while it may feel empowering, it only complicates recovery and delays true momentum.
Have you ever read your...
significant
adjective
Important; of consequence. Having or expressing a meaning.
Statistics - of or relating to observations that are unlikely to occur by chance and that therefore indicate a systematic cause.
The significance of the choice to have an affair cannot be understated. Until and unless...
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