Most of us who have experienced betrayal have, at least for a season, anger as our front seat driver.
But who is riding in the back seat fueling that angry driver? Fear? Frustration? Betrayal, Sadness? Loneliness?
Once I uncovered loneliness and injustice as two of my backseat driver emotions, I've discovered that loneliness and injustice was part of my childhood when I struggled to be the 'good child' as my parents were trying their best to handle a difficult son, my only sibling.
More damaging than that was my mother's very natural tendency to worry about me. Would I go down the same path as my ne'er-do-well brother? Would I stay out late? Lie and sneak?
Of course, I knew that was not part of my character. Hey—I was the 'good child'. I earned good grades, flew under the radar of the drug culture of my high school. I was not interested. I found those sorts of choices scary, even repugnant. I...
Part 1: Difficulties with Intimacy Part 2: Difficulties with Intimacy for the Betrayed Part 3: Difficulties with Intimacy for the Unfaithful
For the couple who is trying to heal from infidelity, the marriage bed can seem like an untouchable desert full of confusion, despair, and uncertainty. The unfaithful spouse can find him or herself guilt-ridden, almost paralyzed by shame and self-hatred, wondering if they should even try to initiate sexual intimacy with their significant other. For several decades, I've walked alongside unfaithful spouses who try to do this right, and I've observed that it often feels chaotic and like they're taking one step forward two steps back.
It doesn't have to be this way...
For couples devastated by infidelity, the marriage bed can seem like an untouchable subject, if not absolutely taboo. From comparisons to the affair partner to triggers and reminders or unhelpful and incompetent advice, it can seem impossible to find your way through.
Where do you turn when you feel overwhelmed by sadness, grief, and fear as it relates to sexuality and reclaiming the marriage bed? Who can you trust? Whose advice can you seek?
Speaking from experience, I implore you to run to trained professionals who have navigated this road and healed. Run to...
If you're the betrayed spouse, I want to invite you to our 3rd Annual Hope Rising Conference, (now Virtual!) where speakers will speak into your specific situation of infidelity and help guide you through the recovery process. It's not as hopeless as you think.
Sign Up Now!
"It is possible to get to the point where you don't think about this every day. Where you're not triggered, and you can begin to believe the best again." – Samantha, Hope Rising 2019 Speaker
We are excited...
Part 1: What Do You Need to Know? Part 2: Poor Recovery Decisions of Unfaithful Spouses
Hope for Healing registration opens monthly. Subscribe to be notified. This online course for unfaithful spouses fills up quickly, so don't wait! Discover how a supportive non-judgmental environment paired with expert content can provide life-changing hope, clarity, and healing.
In a past survey of Affair Recovery readers, unfaithful spouses identified certain recovery decisions that proved to be unproductive or even harmful.
Samuel interviews author and therapist Eddie Capparucci about sex addiction.
Samuel discusses a necessary tool for those stuck in crisis.
I want to invite all who have been betrayed to our Annual Hope Rising Conferences - on Demand, and gain momentum, strength, and community on your journey to wholeness.
Samuel his friends Hank and Aixa as they share their own story of healing from infidelity.
Samuel discusses suffering, belief systems, and how both partners can heal after disclosure.
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