Infidelity + Life: When the Affair Isn’t Your Only Crisis
The affair most likely isn’t the only thing you’re carrying. There may be an illness, a loss, a job that fell through, kids who need you, or years of quietly holding it all together, and now you’re being asked to heal a marriage on top of it. In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Marcus Earle, Clinical Director of Psychological Counseling Services with 38 years in behavioral health, to talk about what to do when infidelity isn’t your only crisis, including the one thing he and Rick say to address before anything else. If life has piled on since the betrayal and you don’t know where to begin, this conversation is for you.
What type of affair was it?
Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp
Do you offer any meeting…
Do you offer any meeting opportunities for betrayed spouses whose spouse has died?
Firstly, I'm so sorry for…
In reply to Do you offer any meeting… by Nigel W
Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss. That certainly adds additional complexity to healing. Our Harboring Hope course for betrayed spouses is about personal healing - separate from the marriage - and would be a great option for any person who has been betrayed, regardless of whether their unfaithful spouse is still in the picture.
When my husband betrayed me…
When my husband betrayed me was when I called a separation to order for the fact his anger and disrespect was getting way out of hand the horrible things he would say to the kids about me, but even then I would have stayed…it was when he put his hands around our son (he wasn’t a child/20 yrs old) around our son’s throat that I said no more. I was caring for both my parents who died the following year 4 months apart from one another, I went through stage 1 ovarian cancer and was being tested for one of the worst cases of Leukemia (where once you find out you have it you’ll be lucky if you have three years to live) i’m very thankfully very much so thankfully, I found out later that I didn’t have it yet going through all that, trying to keep our company going, trying to keep a smile on our kids faces, and not either hate me or hate him. I grew up in the house where my father‘s anger was horrible, and he was very much abusive, but I still respected him and loved him no matter how bad it got the times have changed families have changed and going through all I did while, trying to manage everything and never seeing myself as a strong person, he went away with this woman to Vegas. He kept going back to her if I didn’t do what he told me to do and then finally New Year’s Eve 2025 he kept lying and saying he wasn’t with Her but her Instagram said otherwise we’re trying to work it out, but he says that he doesn’t remember things like I do. He told her he loved her. He didn’t wear any protection and he let her hurt me too. It would’ve been one thing if it was just him but one night when I went over to confront him, she came out of the bedroom and stood there, naked she has posted multiple pictures of him and her on platforms where my husband asked her not to do the fact that our kids looked on Facebook and Instagram I have two older sons and now my daughter is 16. She did that she posted pictures and she even has a stocking video of her looking at my home all on Facebook for the world see and when I try to tell him how and why things hurt or trigger me he laughs and he changes the subject. I feel like I’m losing it.
That’s such a difficult…
In reply to When my husband betrayed me… by Brenda H
That’s such a difficult situation, Brenda. Thank you for being vulnerable in sharing your pain with us. You are not crazy. Hear that. We have God-given intuition for a reason. If you feel unsafe, I encourage you to take whatever steps are necessary to ensure the safety of yourself and your minor child. Recovery can only begin from a place of safety.
If you’re not currently involved in a recovery community or speaking with a therapist, I would highly encourage that as well. A third party who is not emotionally invested in your situation not only helps you carry the emotional load, but they can also provide perspective that you can’t see on your own.
Our free Affair Analyzer and free First Steps Bootcamp are great places to start and help point you in the right direction. You don’t have to stay stuck in this place of fear and anxiety. There is hope for complete and total healing.
My husband recently died…
My husband recently died unexpectedly at 40 years old, leaving me with 2 young boys (4yo, 15 months). I knew of his infidelities throughout our dating relationship and marriage. Since his passing, the magnitude of his infidelities has come to light. The sheer number of women and risky scenarios he put himself in is mind-blowing. I don’t even know who he is anymore and we were together 13 years, married for 8. I have always said that cheating on your partner does not make you a bad parent but with all this discovery, I’m so angry that he chose other women over time with his sons. I’m struggling in every aspect of my life. How do I ever heal from this?
Firstly, I'm so very sorry…
In reply to My husband recently died… by S.Gidd
Firstly, I'm so very sorry for the loss of your spouse. That is a very difficult situation all on its own, let alone compounded by working through the additional pain his betrayal has caused. You may feel immense hurt, sadness, anger, and the list goes on. Firstly, take a breath. You don't have to know all the answers today. Secondly, reach out for support: your pastor, trusted family and friends, a therapist - all good places to start. You weren't meant to carry a weight like this alone.
It can feel overwhelming to take even the first step toward recovery, largely because we may not even know what that is. Please reach out to us at 888-527-2367 or [email protected] and one of our compassionate team members would be happy to walk you through potential next steps. Hear me: you are not alone and you don't have to do this by yourself. Let us help.
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