Q&A How Can a Just God Allow This? How can I Get rid of this Pain?

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My husband had an affair with his coworker nearly two years ago. I was pregnant during the affair, and our son was born while the affair continued. It finally ended after I questioned him a second time when our newborn son was nearly 11 weeks old. He says he continued the affair after our son was born because his AP informed him that she was pregnant.

D-Day was over 18 months ago. Her son is exactly 8 months, 1 day younger than my son. I have been going to therapy where I have been diagnosed with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). We tried couples therapy for months until signing up for EMS Online which we concluded in December. We are also following the Married for Life aftercare curriculum and doing bi-weekly phone calls with other members from our group.

Nothing is taking the pain away from his affair. He was everything to me-- he was my safety in this world. I feel like I died along with my husband on D-Day. I have lost my faith in God because what God causes such great pain to someone who has been His follower. God is suppose to be just, but how is Him giving her a child from my husband just to me and my son?? I can't turn to my faith because it is destroyed, I can't turn to my husband because he is no longer my confidant. How do I ever heal when everything I have ever counted on has let me down?

To make matters worse, my husband's AP is now coming after us for child support even though her husband has acknowledged the child as his. There is no end to this affair. There is literally a physical being on this earth from it and I just don't know how to recover. I just need the pain to go away but it won't. I need help that I'm just not getting. How Can I Get rid of this pain?”



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