Q&A Are My Husband and I Trying to Do the Impossible?

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My husband's affair ended 14 months ago. After he ended it his affair partner continued to come into our work as a customer every single week on one particular set night and continues to do so. She doesn't reach out to him and he ignores her completely. She isn't rude or threatening or breaking any rules that would allow us to have her banned or file a restraining order. She just comes in and hangs out with her friends. She watches me a lot and I know she's doing it to get a rise out of me but I just try to pretend it has no effect on me. If she needs customer service I am professional. It's so triggering though and every week when that shift ends I sit in my car and cry in my husband's arms. We have considered quitting our job but we both love it so much and love working together. Him and his counselor have discussed it also and his counselor said he worries if we just change work shifts she will just try to come on another night or even worse come on a night when he is not there working the shift with me. My husband said he will do whatever it takes but I don't know if I want to "let her win" by running away. She's done this for one year straight so I don't see her just giving up any time soon. I just worry this has me stuck. Each week we make all this progress and things go so well and then by the day I know she's coming in I'm just angry at him all over again for putting me in this situation and I'm having all kinds of emotions around it. Have you ever seen a situation where the affair partner and betrayed have to see each other regularly and the betrayed can still progress in their recovery? Am I being unrealistic when I try to make myself fight through this each week? I am starting Harboring Hope now. I just don't know if I'm trying to do the impossible.



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