Q&A Are There Differences in Love of Spouse in Marriage and Love of the Affair Partner?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


After D-Day 7 Months ago my husband sent the affair partner a text that said, “I only need Jesus’ love and your love, can’t explain it. I’m so grateful for our friendship.” This is one of many inappropriate innuendos and my husband is her supervisor at work. Four or more years of secret gifts, cards, and CDs that were from her found by me led to my concern. He blasted me with, “How dare you be jealous and suspicious”. She is a very nice person and does excellent work. We are just friends. Beating my head against the wall and stifling my intuition. Our once intimate marriage became strained as he continued to pull away from me, avoid, and criticize my faults. I built a wall around heart & denied the affair. There has been very little disclosure. He knows what I need to move forward in my HH Course. He responds with anger and says he doesn’t know anything except “just friends”. I disclosed phone and text records as far back as available which revealed texting between them every day, some months 600-800 texts shared. He says he can’t remember nature of the texts. This is a man who told me, “Never text me, I don’t like them and will never text”. My impatience with disclosure presented a firm consequence for him if he does not come forth with the truth of his affair. He shouted three times, “I loved her”. He went on to say not in love with her. He enjoyed her company; it was all so easy with her. We said we would never hurt our spouses. He denies vehemently any sexual attraction for her or acts with her. After so many lies, it’s unbelievable to me. Always give grace to him, yet, his love for her has put me back to ground zero.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas