Q&A How Can I Get the Safety I Need in Our Recovery?

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Question: 

I had for force all of the disclosures out of my husband. He was arrested for videotaping his employee in the bathroom. He says it was for the thrill of not getting caught and a stupid decision. He also disclosed right after that he was struggling with alcohol and porn addiction for the past 5 years. A psychosexual evaluation revealed that he has masturbated twice a week throughout our marriage of 23 years. A polygraph revealed two one-night-stands, occurring 14 and 11 years ago. I don’t feel safe. I want him to look at the why. I believe a CSAT will be able to help. He is adamant that he is not a sex addict. I see all the self-sabotage as related. He has some horrible abandonment issues from his upbringing. I’ve required a CSAT. However he hates it and no longer wants to go. My question is, what do I do to get that safety because where we are right now isn’t working?

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