Q&A How Do I Deal With This When I Cannot Reasonably Ask Her to Quit Working nor Can I Check In Frequently to Make Sure It's Not Happening Again?

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Aside from the one time in our house while working from home, most of my wife's known sexual interactions occurred at her job during work hours. The affair partner would invite her to his office or she would show up willingly and they would have sex in his office with the door locked or on one occasion in an office that they knew would be empty. We have since moved to a new city where she does not work with him but that does not prevent the potential for an affair in the same circumstances with someone else. We do not work together and I do not have any way to keep tabs on her all day, nor do I feel that I should have to do that. She is frequently in meetings where she is unable to respond to texts or answer phone calls quickly, leading to severe anxiety and the overwhelming thought that she isn't responding because she is doing that again. Every day when she leaves for work is a trigger for me as a result of how she did it. Her office requires an appointment or badge for entry so no visits. I am currently in individual counseling and Harboring Hope, though I do not feel recovery for this is progressing much. Every weekday is torture for me. How do I deal with this when I cannot reasonably ask her to quit working nor can I check in frequently to make sure it's not happening again?



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