Q&A How do I Feel Safe When My Spouse Won't Address the Issues that Allowed the Infidelity?

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Question: 

I am the betrayed and my husband confessed to having an affair about 4 months ago. He comes from an abusive past and that has played a huge role in the issues we've had in our 16 years of marriage as well as the affair. We attended an EMS weekend and he finally realized that he has a huge issue with shame. even though he knows this he is refusing to get proper help to deal with his issues and i know that it will continue to affect our relationships and our healing from the affair. I also fear that the affair will happen again because of his shame. What do i do if my husband won't get the help he needs? How can i feel safe, or can i, if he's not willing to take care of his own issues?

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