Q&A What are Reasonable Expectations and Words for My Unfaithful Mate?

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Question: 

What are some normal expectations I should have in order to feel safe with my unfaithful husband? We are 6 months from D-day #2 and I am in the harboring hope class and have actively pursued my own recovery but unfortunately by husband has not done very much recovery work. I am having a hard time figuring out how to talk to him about what my expectations are in moving forward with this marriage because I do not want it to come across as an ultimatum. Also, it is difficult to talk about the unfaithfulness because of his defensiveness. I need some guidance in wording on how to approach him about things needing to change and also what types of expectations I should have for him to one day move through this hell and have a stronger marriage. Thank you!

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