Q&A What Boundaries Would You Recommend upon Reconciliation?

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My husband left our marriage 2 months shy of our 25th wedding anniversary, 8 months ago, to live with a woman he had been having an online affair with. He had deceived our family of 3 adult children and myself into believing he had returned to our home country to attend a Christian retreat “sorting himself out”. I found out his lie 4 months ago, that he in fact had met up and returned with her to her home country. As you can imagine this was shocking and devastating for us all. I am currently at week 4 of the harboring hope course and believe his affair to be both a sexual addiction and “lonely hearts club” type of affair. He has a history of porn addiction since a teenager, which has been on and off again throughout our marriage, which grew into online sex, chats with friends he made through gaming alliances over the past 15 years. Once I found out the truth he became very desperate to return as he realizes his mistake and misses his family. He will only return if I allow him to, he doesn’t have any income or funds, but thinks his mother will pay for the trip back. My question is, with a deficit of intimacy in our marriage, what guidelines would you recommend be in place, if he returns? I don't think a SA group is available in our city.



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