Q&A What Recommendations Do You Have for Overcoming the Sexual Part of the Affair?

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Question: 

My wife had a 12 month physical emotional affair. I’m having a very hard time with the sex she had with the affair partner. I don’t understand how she can feel dirty and disgusted by it now but at the time do it as often as they did and where they did. I know I’m trying to make since of something with my rational mind that she was thinking irrationally during due to limerence. However, any guidance you can provide in helping me get over the sexual part? It hurts so much. It’s not the lying that hurts me it’s the sex. I want my wife to want me as much as she did the affair partner and as excited as she did. And I don’t understand how you can feel disgusted now but back then not feel this way? I can’t imagine being naked with another women and I’m being honest when I say that. It feels to me so dirty and a violation that I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around my wife actually doing this. Maybe I’m in bargaining stage of grief.

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