Q&A Will We Ever Have a Healthy Marriage?

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Question: 

During our 20+ year marriage my wife has rarely initiated any sexual activity and has been mostly unresponsive to my advances. We’ve been in counseling for most of 20 years and I’ve worked hard to be the best husband and father God is calling me to be and have often hoped if she felt loved enough she would want to love me back in that way. 11 years ago and again four years ago that changed and she became very sexually charged. In the last six months I’ve discovered those where times of an emotional and then physical affair. There are many things I’m having an extremely hard time dealing with but one of the worst is feeling like the only times she was interested in me was when she was communicating with him. Now 9 months after discovery and six months after disclosure she is completely uninterested in sex. I do appreciate the efforts on her part when she asks me “if I need to” but It’s infrequent and seems forced. I know way too much about how she pursued her affair partner sexually and was very creative with him but does very little to make me desirable. She is Hope for Healing as well and coming a long way in discovering how selfish and insecure she’s been (her words) but I wonder if we will ever have a healthy marriage.

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