Expert Q&A Preview: What Boundaries Can I Put in Place That Don’t Sound like Ultimatums?

I am the wayward spouse and have been trying to make communication with my husband safe for him. But it’s an impossible task when my husband won’t communicate with me. I am willing and eager to do anything he asks of me, he just doesn’t. We will go days, weeks, months without talking and if I am lucky enough to have a conversation with him, my built up resentment to his withholding communication explodes and my words are truth but my feelings and tone aren’t. What boundaries can I put in place that don’t sound like ultimatums? I.e. ‘if you continue to ignore me or abandon me, then XYZ’. As the wayward spouse, I want to carry the weight and help him heal but I’m tired of being treated less than a human being.