Why the Unfaithful Needs to Choose Their Spouse

Today Samuel continues the discussion on neediness and how the unfaithful must 'choose' their spouse, not 'need' them only.

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Guilt

Samuel, I have been following your blog for quite some time. I also took the Harboring Hope course. I am a avid reader of Rick's postings as well.
I tried to make this comment more private, but was unsuccessful in finding a e-mail, or another option of privacy. My husband had a affair over a 3yr time, I discovered it in 2012. That is not what I am contacting you about. I work for several physician's, and approximately a year ago, one of the physician's that I work for discovered her husband had been having a affair. I never shared my story or pain with anyone, I kept extremely private about it. I know that her & her husband were trying to work it out, it was a constant battle of back and forth, she wanted to save the marriage. Last weekend she committed suide. I am devastated, I feel tremendous guilt. There were so many times , I wanted to reach out to her and share my story, that she was not alone. I would see her, and I knew that look , I had the same one . She looked so sad and withdrawn. I thought of just leaving her a note, call me I understand. I never did. I believe story's need to be told , shared, & expressed, so people know they are not alone. Thank you for you and your team for sharing, I have gained a lot of insight and I don't feel alone. I wish I could have done the same for her.
Laura

that's tough Laura...

thank you for sharing Laura. that has to be tough for sure. but, her suicide is not your fault. there could be a ton of reasons she ultimately took her own life. we just don't know the condition of her mind fully or where she was at. it's heart breaking I know. BUT do not be too hard on yourself. fact is, she didn't have to take that route. it's hard to share. it's just not easy or convenient and it's so tough to be vulnerable. it's easier now, but each time i speak to crowds or groups or churches, there is this moment where i have to remind myself what i feel called to do and what i feel i'm supposed to give back. it's intimidating to say the least. you still have lots of life ahead of you. you have a ton of people you'll be able to tell in the future. you can't change that experience, but i'm betting you'll have a ton of other opportunities with other women in the future. don't give up my friend. there's more out there for you to help. that i assure you. thank for your posting and sharing.

What type of affair was it?

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