Q&A Do You Classify This as a Sexual Addiction or Is This a Different Type of Affair?

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Question: 

In the interview for week 1 of EMS Online, Rick talks about how important it is to know what type of affair the infidelity is. I’m struggling with this, because while I believe I know what type of affair it is, my husband doesn’t agree with the classification. My husband has disclosed over the past 3 years of engaging in sexual acts with prostitutes as well as being on dating websites ranging from affair apps, sugar daddy apps, and general dating sites. There have been 4 DDays between 2018 and Christmas Eve 2020. Including: massage, admitting to a hidden phone for browsing these apps, admitting to inappropriate massages, then just recently what he says is full disclosure, disclosing 3 years of talking on sites with general public and prostitutes, having sex with 5. He told me each DDay he would never hurt me again, said he was a changed man and hated himself for what he did, but now he says it’s different because he really wants to change. He says there were times he stopped, but obviously didn’t really want to, because he kept doing in. In fact, he continued doing it while we were in therapy, multiple times. I see this as sexual addiction, he does not. While I can possibly see him “quitting” his addiction cold turkey, I still believe it was something he became addicted to and needs to be addressed, as there is a strong history of relapse. Do you classify this as a sexual addiction or is this a different type of affair?

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