Q&A How Can I Rebuild Trust with Someone Who Is Constantly Keeping Secrets and Lying?

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Question: 

My spouse has a drinking problem. This has been assessed by a therapist. I have done extensive research and there is no escaping that fact. He doesn’t agree. There is always a reason. He started drinking secretly in addition to what was done in front of me some time be fore his infidelities. I have found over thirty stashed empty bottles in the last two months. He keeps saying he will stop hiding it so at least I can understand the behavior I’m dealing with but it always is a lie. He claims this has nothing to to with Affair Recovery. How can I rebuild trust with someone who is constantly keeping secrets and lying? He recently had a black out drunk where he was extremely emotionally abusive and called a woman that he agreed not to contact three times that night. I can’t make myself soften my heart to this, I am trying. I am terrified.

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You can't. I have found

You can't. I have found Alanon tremendously helpful.