I am the wayward spouse and I am having a really difficult time showing empathy. I know not to get defensive but I end up being this way during half of my spouse's moments of trauma. I know that in the moment my spouse is only responding to how they are feeling, and that feelings are not necessarily facts. However, I can't shake my defensive reactions. I love my spouse and want to help show them that I am "getting it". How can I do a better job or any advice on showing empathy?