Q&A How Do I Deal with My Feelings towards the Affair Partner?

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Question: 

I have to see her about once a week and I have so much rage and disgust that all I want to do is humiliate her and plot revenge. She continues to think she was the victim and her behavior toward us has been a hindrance in our recovery. Over the past year I have spent countless hours talking about her in my own therapy and I still have so much anger, bitterness, and resentment at her behavior both during and after the affair. I'd love nothing more than to out her hypocrisy and having to keep my mouth shut makes me even angrier. I don’t know how to process my feelings toward her. We are a year past D-Day, have done EMSO, and are currently doing Married for Life. We also see a marriage therapist every other week, do weekly individual, and I did 3 months of EMDR. We are not religious so prayer or religious writings do not help.

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