Q&A How Do I Heal from the Profound Pain Caused by My Unfaithful Spouse Treating Me with Disdain for So Long?

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.


My pain is two pronged, one prong being over 20 years of my husband's love affairs, for which you provide excellent help. The other prong of profound pain is how he treated me for more than 20 years of our 39 year marriage, showing a negative view of me both in comparison to his affair partners, and independent of them. He says this was present because he had to self-justify his actions. He was critical, angry, refused positive affirmations, gave me half-hearted sexual and physical contact, and refused to take care of me if I was in need. He shunned my reaching out, and ignored significance of my extensive interest, love, and support. He treated me as if he didn’t like or love me. He has changed remarkably since our biggest D-Day one year ago after I discovered his latest 14 year love affair, but the contempt still breaks through sometimes. Now, with EMSO, he shows mostly love and care. What help can you provide for for this prong of the pain? He is 100% in with EMSO and has an excellent therapist. Last night brought new disclosures, but he was loving and apologetic. He swears he likes me and loves me, and is now treating me as such, but how can I trust, believe, or feel that with over 2 decades of treating me with disdain, dislike, and indifference, damaging me and our marriage? I have an excellent trauma therapist, but I am broken and dead to my core.



RL_Media Type: 

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
-D, Texas