Q&A How Do I Know If My Partner Is Safe?

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I'm struggling between wanting to believe that my husband is being genuine and sincere about getting better and this gut wrenching feeling that something is going on. I asked for divorce in December, we filed in January, I had blocked him and cut off contact aside from the kids.. He then showed up at my door shortly after filing and since has been willing to do recovery work and has been making promises. At first he seemed very serious and was being very intentional, has made changes and says there hasn't been contact with the affair partner. As weeks have gone by it seems to be dwindling, it's been so up and down and I just have this ugly feeling that I can't shake. I don't feel safe and when things get heavy he can't handle and we have to take long time outs. He's gone to extremes to make me believe that everything was fine before when it wasn't after 1st d-day, but I found proof and this time I feel like either he's covering everything up really well or there really isn't anything going on. I make sure to remind myself now not to play investigator and to remember that I can only control me and it has helped, but I still have this feeling. I just feel dread all the time and I'm wondering if I gave him another chance to soon.... I'm afraid that he's lying and I'm afraid to hurt my kids again by making him leave or leaving with them. We are about to start EMSO and we have already signed the contracts, but I'm scared.. do I just wait it out then?



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