Whose Advice Should I Follow?

How do you decipher between good and bad advice after discovering infidelity in a marriage? Advice comes from all angles but that doesn't mean it's good. Even good intentioned family members and therapists may not be the best people to listen to in such a difficult time.

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Great video

Thanks Steve. We're on to our second counselor now - the first felt biased toward me (hurt spouse). How do we know if the therapy is good therapy? What sort of questions should they be asking us in the first sessions? I find I do an awful lot of talking and I tend to drive sessions with not a lot of input from the counselor.

Good Question

Good question. One counselor in our past seemed good at the time. He was kind, knowledgeable, and seemed to have a good grasp on helping my spouse get PTSD treatment. However, he didn’t focus on us individually. Looking back, he didn’t help me understand that perhaps, I was the problem in the marriage. Whether you are betrayed or unfaithful, you each need to be taken care of on your own path of healing. In my case, I needed someone to look me in the eyes and help me get honest and open about who I was and what I had been doing. My wife needed support and effective training on how to work through the trauma in her life. I think couples need some individual therapy as well as couples therapy. In my opinion, look for someone who isn’t afraid to say what needs to be said or takes sides. Ask Rick regarding his knowledge of counselors in your area. He has a pretty good handle on who you should see and what you should be looking for in a counselor. Sorry for the late response. I just got this response thing working again. Take care and thanks for the question. I pray you find a good counselor and peace in your life.


“I’m now alone.” AR has kept reinforcing this for me. The wealth of information and emotional support has been life changing for me going forward through this infidelity and sex addiction journey with my unfaithful husband. This is a high altitude ultra marathon doing the necessary work going towards healing, safety, trust, and forgiveness for both of us. I can’t go back, I can keep going forward though to find my peace and GRACE.

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