Q&A How can we Agree on Financial Safety?

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Question: 

Recently I found out that my wife took all the money out of our joint checking account and opened her own account with it. I found this out when I opened our statements while my wife was out of town with her sister and her mother. In reaction to this, I took a rent check that I had gotten on a property I own and opened my own account so I will not be left out in the cold if we separate (my wife has been pushing this recently). I told my wife what I had done when she got home and she went ballistic. We have discussed this and she has agreed that she will put about 45% of the money back if I close my account but is keeping the rest as payment for what I spent on my affair partner. This solution is not satisfactory to me because if she kicks me out of the house and she takes the money again as she has done in the past, that leaves me high and dry with no cash out of the house. I have offered to give her full transparency on my new account, but no control of that money and she can keep the money she says is payment on the affair partner, this is unacceptable to her. I am at a loss at how to solve this so we both feel safe.

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