We are almost 16 months from the first D-Day. My husband and I are in EMS Online, I am in Harboring Hope, and my husband just started Hope for Healing. We are coming up on our call for week 12 of EMS Online, Restoring Intimacy, and I have been struggling. My husband has continued to flood, be defensive, and blame shift when we talk about anything that he hasn't accepted for himself. We haven't been physically intimate in over a year and I feel myself shutting down at the thought of being on this call. Timely, this week a video from Samuel came out regarding denying your reality and a light bulb came on. We are only 2 days from this call, my husband has just today found an individual counselor and I don't want to even think about being intimate. I have been continually processing his continued disregard of agreed upon boundaries and feel I am at my end. I am tired. The last two lessons in EMSO have actually created the canyon of hurt to widen. What do you suggest someone in my position do to approach this situation in a safe manner? I understand that being intimate takes courage but I have been courageous for 24 years.