My wife had 3 different affairs that were short lived in the span of about 12 years. The last one ended 9 years ago. With the discovery of the first affair 23 years ago she was very cold to me for the year following and even after warming up some, stopped much of her sexual affection towards me. For the past 23 years we haven't passionately kissed and rarely touched. There is zero foreplay. She says I can have intercourse with her but then isn't engaged. If I try to make sure she is pleased, she tells me to stop because she doesn't need that. She says she doesn't want, need, or like those things. However, she did before her affairs. We went through EMS Online recently and I heard the full story of her affairs for the first time. I am having a hard time being emotionally vulnerable for her and giving her the emotional intimacy she wants and needs. I feel that she is keeping a part of herself away from me and does not want to connect with me fully, even though she gave those men those things. As a result I don't feel wanted, respected, ]desired, needed, or loved. My self esteem, confidence, and masculinity already took massive hits over the affairs, this is just twisting in the knife. What can we do? What should I do?