I need help and clarification. I am the initial unfaithful spouse and my betrayed spouse, in spite of my affair, had an affair of her own. I truly am sorry for my involvement in my affair and I want to help my spouse heal. The issue I'm having is lack of empathy towards her because she is not willing to give a full disclosure of her affair to me. I know I caused this ordeal, but I'm really having a hard time because I'm angry that I am having intrusive thoughts. Am I being selfish and self-centered? Am I making this all about me?