Q&A How Do I Show My Wife I Get It?

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Question: 

I am the wayward husband. I brought multiple affair partners into our marriage. Our D-Day was 6 months ago with smaller discoveries coming since then. I was naive to boundaries that seemed obvious to her and most people. I made selfish decisions and did what I wanted to make me feel good - positive mirroring from other females. I get these now and beginning to have a better understanding of my own behaviors and thought processes that led to my downward spiral multiple affairs and pornagraphy use. I am learning to acknowledge the ugly parts of me that craved affirmation and attention from other females. I can never undo the pain I caused my wife or fully understand the unbelievable grace and forgiveness she has given me during the past months. I was the one that hurt her. Broke her heart. Betrayed her. Broke my vows to her. Lied over and over to her. Forced her to acknowledge she did not really know the person she had married for 17 years. I have been operating as a singleton in this marriage for so long she is concerned I may never really get how to be two people in a single marriage acting as one and having each other's back in the fox hole. I love her and am 100% committed to our new marriage we are creating.

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