Q&A How do I Transform my Pain?

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Question: 

The last couple weeks I've been ranting at my husband. I don't feel safe. I'm quite sure that he's no longer in contact with his AP but he's still stuck in the "let's just put this behind us" stage (7 months from first disclosure, 3 months from ground zero). He lacks empathy and as a result he leaves me open to anxiety about where he is and what he's doing and mostly importantly what he's thinking and feeling (completely avoidant personality, doesn't discuss feelings at all). I live in fear that tomorrow I'll get a new truth or he'll leave. Every morning the anxiety creeps in and I guess I'm in pain and then I'm transmitting it to him? How do I just stop the cycle of fear and then ranting at him about all the stuff he's not doing which causes him to shut down and then me to be even more afraid and the cycle perpetuates!

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