Q&A How Do We Create a New Pattern and Move Past the Shame?

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Question: 

After my fiancé and I have been together for 7 years. And in Feb of this year I found out he had been cheating on me w/a co-worker. He left our home at that time and finally ended the outside relationship in May. He says he wants to come home but feels so much shame and guilt for the pain he's inflicted and it causes him more pain to be around me because in my willingness to stay and work through this with him he feels even worst as he says he realizes how much we truly do love one another. He visits from time to time and even then sometimes he's paralyzed and he'll call in pain that it's too hard to come home. We are stuck and he's now feeling ambivalent. Each time we feel progress is happening we go right back to being gridlocked. How do create a new pattern?

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What type of affair was it?

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