Q&A How Much Work is Necessary?

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Rick, Thank you for this area to ask questions. My wife and I are still having some difficulty. She says that I am still hiding in guilt and shame and I have not pursued my recovery the way a really remorseful husband would. I tell her I am willing to do whatever it takes, but she is correct I back off after a couple of weeks on my recovery work. She has read a ton of books, we have been in counseling, she see a therapist outside of our couples counseling, she reads blogs, and makes suggestions about things that I can do, but it feels like she is just controlling me. She says that she just wants to see me healed, and to heal completely for herself so we can move forward. She says that I am backing her into a corner where she is going to be forced to ask me to leave because she does not feel I will ever change. I have told her after seeing the pain I caused her I could never cheat on her again. She says that without the work she can't believe me. But it is true. I never dreamed it would hurt her like it did and the constant reminder of that keeps me from even daring to let another woman close to me. She is pushing me to take the Hope for Healing. We have done EMSO and are in married for life. Isn't all this enough? I am just ready to leave the past in the past and move forward building our new marriage. Sorry I could not figure out how to narrow all this to 250 words.



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