Red Flags in the Life of the Unfaithful during the Affair Recovery Process

Understanding red flags in the life of the unfaithful spouse or partner serves two purposes. One, it can help the unfaithful understand how they are being perceived by their partner (and professionals) and assist them in understanding how their behavior is impacting their betrayed partner. Two, it can help the betrayed understand that what may seem like normal, usual behavior in both the marriage as well as the unfaithful partner is not normal at all. In fact, it can be alarming and indicative of significant issues in the life of the unfaithful which must be addressed in order for the relationship to find new life. Today, Samuel outlines a few key red flags in an attempt to help both sides of the affair find healing, compassion and new life.

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Samuel - I so admire you and the work that you do. I wish I was 2 decades past my Unfaithful-ness. My infidelity came 11 years ago before my wife and I were married. It just came out nearly 3 months ago... my partner and I are separated with a divorce likely as I have other sordid and abusive behaviors to work on and make amends for. How do I get past my own ego? When my whole life's "work" has been ego-based and selfishness - my partner has been vulnerable with me and I spin and get defensive or trickle the truth or tantrum - all the stuff one is supposed to work their way through - and I can't seem to get past my own ego / get out of my own way.

Red Flags

What are these red flags for? What do they say about the unfaithful? Are these signs of a narcissist? I’m in this very situation with my husband’s online affair and what you said about the betrayed feelings is so true. I just want him to own his behavior. Not have tantrums, stonewalling, shaming himself, defending himself.

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