Q&A How am I Supposed to Accept the Idea of Relapse?

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Relapse: As the injured spouse this was the hardest chapter ever. If someone relapses with infidelity in a marriage isn't that a way of them telling you that they really don't want to be married to you and are just seeing how much they can get away with or you are willing to put up with? My husband's AP was also married, at least one of the five were. He can relapse if he wants....... just not with me as his wife. It seems like God's commandments are missing from this discussion. He can be unfaithful and covet another's man wife and break some of the most basic of God's laws and do it again and again and according to your workbook that is something I am supposed to forgive....even though God himself has declared it to be sinful? No, I know I am not to judge and yes I admit to using God's name in vain.....which is also sinful.....over the past few months of infidelity discovery, but I can't seem to wrap my mind around relapse. I feel like my love for this man is unfortunately conditional love now. I can only love him if he no longer abuses me or is unfaithful. I have lost my faith in love and am losing my faith in God. God is love and as I am no longer able to believe in Love....I am losing my belief in God. I am 58 years old and so very, very sad. I know I love my children unconditionally and I know that Joy but I have lost unconditional love for my husband. I have known him for 40 years. My pastor compared infidelity to not being able to resist a bag of potato chips in the cupboard when you are on a diet. Not resisting potato chips hurts you but not anyone else. Infidelity hurts not only spouses but also families.....on both sides. How can someone relapse if they love another person? How can they even commit the sin in the first place if they love another person?



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I agree with you 100%... I don't believe in a 2nd, 3rd, etc. chance for relapse.. if that's the case, Where does it end? Relapse to me is saying to me that you have chosen to be somewhere or with someone else and don't care one iota for me, whatsoever!

Conditional love

My mate hasn’t had relaps yet because we are still recovering from his two emotional affairs that I found 18 months ago. But I totally understand what you are saying about love. My love was so pure and I could conquer anything as long as I had him because I thought that’s how he was feeling too. Due to his depression, he walked away from me and our daughter and had a secret life.
This made me realized hat my love for him is not unconditional love anymore. I clearly see that my love is different than what I have for my daughter. I don’t believe in love anymore because people change.

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-D, Texas