Q&A Is Relapse Inevitable?

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Question: 

We are doing EMS Online and are on chapter 10, relapse prevention. This chapter almost made me give up on our marriage. It seems that relapse is inevitable. I cannot, will not, go through this again. How can I ever feel safe when I'm constantly worried about the next affair? How can I move on when I can't get out of my head that my husband's AP was the complete opposite of everything he stood for? He was willing to give up his wife, his marriage, his family, his morals, his values and everything he believed in for sex. Sex! How can I possibly wrap my brain around that betrayal?

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relapse

I am struggling with the lies. I believe that he is still lying just to return to a place of safety with me. This is what he did before and then he just went more underground and started a new affair. How can I ever really know him or trust him?

I fully agree with this concern,

I had this conversation with my husband tonight. I will not do this again. There is no next time. I never thought I would ever even consider forgiving him a first time. This pain is unbearable. What he has done to our family is unbelievable. This whole concept of relapse being SO prevalent it’s almost a guarantee makes me want to just leave now. I don’t want to waste another moment of my life if that is the case. How are we supposed to move forward if we are supposed to just wait for the next devastation? I feel like walking collateral damage in his war.

I fully agree with this concern,

I had this conversation with my husband tonight. I will not do this again. There is no next time. I never thought I would ever even consider forgiving him a first time. This pain is unbearable. What he has done to our family is unbelievable. This whole concept of relapse being SO prevalent it’s almost a guarantee makes me want to just leave now. I don’t want to waste another moment of my life if that is the case. How are we supposed to move forward if we are supposed to just wait for the next devastation? I feel like walking collateral damage in his war.

I fully agree with this concern,

I had this conversation with my husband tonight. I will not do this again. There is no next time. I never thought I would ever even consider forgiving him a first time. This pain is unbearable. What he has done to our family is unbelievable. This whole concept of relapse being SO prevalent it’s almost a guarantee makes me want to just leave now. I don’t want to waste another moment of my life if that is the case. How are we supposed to move forward if we are supposed to just wait for the next devastation? I feel like walking collateral damage in his war.

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